THE HOOFMAN
Revision, line 5: THE HOOFMANThey said he was the devil. Where he walkedthe earth sprang scars, knife-deep and subtly splayed.The women whispered in their gloves and talkedof how he sometimes came to...
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Tremendous, Margaret.Youre stepping up to the story of The Garden very boldly here. Lots of wonderful things, but the women whispering in their gloves is really great. And for all the description of...
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Actually, I wanted the title to point to the "hoofman's" effect on the women and, by default, his effect on the men.Margaret
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"The men they don't know, but the women they understand"--Back Door ManOverall I liked this a lot. The only rough spot that caught my attention was "made/ himself go absent", the sense is clear but...
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Thanks.That spot bothered me too. I've revised the line. What do you think?Margaret
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Funny how responses vary. I'm thinking "Huh? What does Adam have to do with a satyr? And wouldn't the presence of gloves show that this is not the Garden of Eden?"
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I'm working that devil reference, Don!My daughter was just in a musical called "Children of Eden," which was actually good--songs by Stephen Schwartz. It really dug into the contrasts between Adam and...
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...for the record, the reference is quite clear (snakes don't have feet, only one Eve, no gloves, ...etc.) But, come on: "women foughtto learn his secrets, begging to possesshis arrogance.""devil"...
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I'm working that devil reference, Don!Pan. (Who was, of course, a satyr in form. And there isn't anything in this poem to say that the satyr in question is, or is not, Pan.)Of course the ascetic...
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I like it, Margaret.Made me think of Jack Nicholson in The Witches of Eastwick.Best,David
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Thanks, everyone. Rick, I'm delighted that you saw a Garden of Eden metaphor. And David: Jack Nicholson, no less! I love poems that have more than one interpretation, and especially when I write them...
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